THE HEIGHTENER                                  

"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall exalt you."  -James 4:10


Volume XXXVIII

March 28, 2017

Number 13  

                                                                    

VIEWPOINT

Dr. Alicia Clark asks, "Too much fighting in your relationship?"  Then she gives a clue:  "Empathy is the antidote to anger!"

Consider this quote:  "Love is not a contract between two narcissists. It’s more than that. It’s a construction that compels the participants to go beyond narcissism. In order that love lasts one has to reinvent oneself” (French Philosopher Alain Badiou).

Here are a few more insights:  

Resentment and anger in relationships often stem from utter dismay at how your spouse could have possibly done what they did. You just can’t understand it — you never would have done such a thing.

Affection Is Key to Keeping Love Alive 

Here are a few scenarios as examples:

  1. For months on end, he was supposed to close a business bank account that was charging enormous fees and that he wasn’t even using anymore. There was always some excuse, and meanwhile, hundreds of dollars were going to waste.  

  2. You’ve asked her countless times to please only play radio stations with upbeat music in the morning. But morning after morning, she keeps putting on the classical music station, which you’ve told her makes you feel like you should go back to sleep. How can she always seemingly forget your request?

  3. You both thought the other one had agreed to do dishes on Tuesday evenings. It’s almost midnight and neither one of you did them, and you are both silently resenting the other one. You don’t want to go to bed angry, but this is just the camel’s back from all of the other times your spouse didn’t do the dishes when they said they would. 

The above situations are representative of the mundane resentments in life that lead to overriding marital problems when not handled with effective communication. Left unchecked over time, resentment will lead to anger in relationships, which takes enormous emotional resources to undo. Better to deal with resentment than let it spiral out of control. 

So what is the solution to dealing with resentment against your spouse and its possible escalation to anger? The solution is to channel the shock at your spouse’s behavior into empathy, to try and understand them, and to come at the situation trying to see their perspective. It’s trite to say, but that’s because it is advice which is perennial. If it were easy, no one would need to talk about it much.

How can we feel empathy, and how can we act empathic, to the partners we resent? Here are 7 top tips:

·        Use “I statement” feeling terms, but don’t use “you.” Here is one example about how to phrase dissatisfaction over another spouse’s actions: “I feel resentful that the business account is still open. I want to understand if I can help you in any way to close the account, because I will feel really relieved and relaxed when it’s closed.” 

·        Count to ten before speaking. This will help you choose your words more carefully and not say something you will regret.

·        Implement the I-Thou.   “Catch” the other’s feelings, trying to feel them yourself. Surprisingly, this makes the experience of those feelings actually diminish. This is powerful because it is really the only way a person can impact another’s experience with feelings of anger in relationships.

·        Practice active listening. Repeat back what you heard in order to confirm you understood, and affirm your partner’s feelings. 

·        Meet on a bridge.  This can be metaphorical and also realistic. In order to channel resentment into empathy, the “understanding bridge” will need to be gapped. Integrate the idea that “we both have to be on this bridge together.” We really can’t see what our partner is feeling until we get out on the bridge. The more steps you take, the more you can see the middle “hump” of this bridge, where you both come together in understanding the other. In order to actualize this place of mutual understanding, one idea is to literally go to a bridge nearby. Pack a blanket and a light picnic snack, go to the bridge, and talk things out. The relaxing setting and fresh air can lend itself to openness, as well as taking things less seriously. The bridge has the advantage of serving as a successful means to reconnect.

·        Engage in daily empathy actions. Empathy is not necessarily the default feeling and needs some retraining to become par for the course. Routine empathy can be actualized by checking in with our partners about how they are feeling, looking them in the eye, and regularly giving the benefit of the doubt. Once empathy becomes intrinsic behavior, resentment often becomes a thing of the past.

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I look forward to seeing you Sunday with a Bible, a smile, and a positive word!  RA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Will of God

When we study the “will of God” we find several contrasting perspectives:

·        Some view the will of God as domination.  This would assert that God is in complete control and totally manages all events in our lives.  Humans are little more than puppets, with every action predetermined by God’s governance.

·        Some view the will of God as “hands off.”  God has started everything in motion and is now just watching it unfold.  This allows little or nothing to occur providentially.

·        Some view the will of God as a legislative code.  God has given us guidelines for life.  If we disobey those laws, He takes action.  Bible examples would be the consequences for the Israelites after worshipping the golden calf.  Likewise, Ananias and Sapphira were struck dead when they “lied to the Holy Spirit.”

Seems to me that a better view of “God’s will” would be to see it as a journey of faith.  Shouldn’t we take into account what the Scripture says about transformation and growth?

Obviously, God has told us what to do and how to live a life that pleases him.  Human beings, however, don’t follow those directions completely.  Jesus acknowledged that his own band of 12 would fall away, but he restored them and motivated them to go forward in the kingdom. 

So God expects us to fail at times, but promises to forgive and strengthen us when we do.  He has a plan.  Jesus fulfills that plan.  God has told us that His word is complete and it is our guide through life.  Jesus tells us that the Spirit, our comforter, will help us at all times, both good and bad. 

I believe that God can act at any time in any way He wishes in our daily lives.  I believe He does act in ways we may not recognize.  We can in no way understand totally how   God works.  We can know that He does work, though.  Scripture tells us over and over that God has our back if we’ll just trust him.  “He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”” (Hebrews 13:5).  

When we viewed the movie, Is Genesis History? I noticed that a major point was made on presuppositions.  Our study and beliefs are biased by the paradigm we hold to.  I think the study of God’s will is like that.  I think we must believe that God is working in our lives and hears our prayers and knows our hearts.  Without that belief it seems to me that prayer would be a waste of time.  That’s my paradigm – I believe that He is active in our lives and His word should guide our choices and actions.  

by Jimmy Pulliam

 

 

  

 

                         

 

 

Our next delivery to A.I.M. is planned for March 25.  Please continue to bring food items to help their distribution.  

 

 

 

 

Southside Area Youth Devotional 

  NEXT EVENT:  

April 9, 2017

Conyers

5:00 p.m.

  

  

April 14, 2017

Egg hunt  at 6:00 p.m.

Cookout to follow 

Please bring candy filled eggs

Also, "sign up" for the cookout

 

Ladies Bible Study Logo     

Fellowship Room

7:00 p.m.

Coming meeting dates:

April 4, 2017 -- cancelled due to spring break

 April 18, 2017   

 

 

 

SYMPATHY

The sympathy of the congregation is extended to Chris and Shannon Greenwald as well as Chris' family.  His father, Gary Greenwald, passed March 9.   A memorial will be conducted later.  

 

 

   

 

Dear Friends at Cedar Grove

Thank you very much for beautiful plant you sent to our dad's funeral.  Your thoughtfulness and generosity are very much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Dawn and Ricky Wright

Kellye and Dennie Knight

 

Dear Cedar Grove Family,

Thank you very much for flowers you sent while I have been suffering with my back.  They really brightened by room! Thank you also to the many who send cards and notes -- it is such a help to know someone is thinking about me!

Love,

Jean McBride

To My Cedar Grove Family, 

Thank you very much for all the cards, phone calls, prayers, and the beautiful flowers.  It is such a blessing to be a part of such a loving Christian family!  I love you all.

Love,

Nancy Kirkland

Dear Cedar Grove Family

Thank you very much for the concern you showed when my arm was broken.  We appreciate your prayers, calls and the meals you brought.  We give thanks for you all!

Love,

Janie and Eddie Brown

Dear Ladies Class, 

Thank you so much for the beautiful fruit basket!  I really enjoyed it and I appreciate your thinking of me.  

Love, Jean McBride

Dear Cedar Grove Family

The past year has flown quickly – thank you for making it a positive year for the Cedar Grove church and for the Kingdom.  Thank you for your continual encouragement and partnership.  Thank you especially for the gift that was presented to us recently.  We love and appreciate our church family!

Love, Ross & Paula

 

 

 

 

 

Continue to remember Susan Carson, Stan Caudle, Jean McBride, Linda Moore, Lanier Richards, Janice Smith, Keith Tatum and Jimmy Wellborn.

 

Bible Reading Schedule for 2017

Read the Bible Chronologically

Week 13

March 27  Deuteronomy 6-9; Luke 7

March 28  Deuteronomy 10-14; Psalm 5; 
                  Luke
8

March 29  Deuteronomy 15-18; Luke 9

March 30  Deuteronomy 19-22; Psalm 6; 
                 
Luke 10

March 31  Deuteronomy 23-26; Luke 11

   

Week 14

April 3  Joshua 14-17; Luke 17

April 4  Joshua 18-21; Psalm 15; Luke 18

April 5  Joshua 22-24; Psalm 116; Luke 19

April 6  Judges 1-3; Psalm 16; Luke 20

April 7  Judges 4-6; Luke 21

 

 

Week 15

April 10  Judges 7-8; Luke 22

April 11  Judges 9-11; Psalm 17; Luke 23

April 12  Judges 12-16; Psalm 146; Luke 24

April 13  Judges 17-18; Psalm 21; Acts 1

April 14  Judges 19-21; Acts 2

   

Week 16  

April 17  Ruth 1-2; Acts 3

April 18  Ruth 3-4; Psalm 37; Acts 4

April 19  1 Samuel 1-2; Psalm 120; Acts 5

April 20  1 Samuel 3-5; Psalm 23; Acts 6

April 21  1 Samuel 6-8; Acts 7

 

 

Week 13 

April 24  1 Samuel 9-10; Acts 8

April 25  1 Samuel 11-13; Psalm 38; Acts 9

April 26  1 Samuel 14; Psalm 124; Acts 10

April 27  1 Samuel 15-16; 1 Chronicles 1

                Psalm 39; Acts 11

April 28  1 Samuel 17; 1 Chronicles 2; Acts 12

 

Read the Bible in Order

April  1    2 Samuel 1-3

April  2    2 Samuel  4-6

April  3    2 Samuel  7-9

April  4    2 Samuel 10-12

April  5    2 Samuel 13-15

April  6    2 Samuel 16-18

April  7    2 Samuel 19-21

April  8    2 Samuel 22-24

April  9    1 Kings 1-4

April 10   1 Kings 5-7

April 11   1 Kings 8-10

April 12   1 Kings 11-13

April 13   1 Kings 14-16

April 14   1 Kings 17-19

April 15   1 Kings 20-22

April 16   2 Kings 1-4

April 17   2 Kings 5-7

April 18   2 Kings 8-10

April 19   2 Kings 11-13

April 20   2 Kings 14-16

April 21   2 Kings 17-19

April 22   2 Kings 20-22

April 23   2 Kings 23-25

April 24   1 Chronicles   1-4

April 25   1 Chronicles   5-8

April 26   1 Chronicles   9-11

April 27   1 Chronicles 12-14

April 28   1 Chronicles 15-17

April 29   1 Chronicles 18-20

April 30   1 Chronicles 21-23

 

 

 

            

MARCH & APRIL BIRTHDAYS

 

 March   1

Riley Minichowski

 March   5

Greg Cannon

 March   6

Sharon Hodges

March   9

James Elliott

 March   9

David Grogan

 March  14

Doyle White

 March  20

Amanda Owens

 March  28

Onice Fields

 March  29

Ed Kelly

April  9

Alexa Coggin

April 10

Amber May

April 10

Katy Robison

April 11

Pat Tatum

April 16

Jim May

April 19

Susan May

April 19

Michael Perry

April 30

Cheryl Putman

 

 

 

 

 

 

THOSE TO SERVE - April 2, 2017

Welcome

Jimmy Pulliam

Song Leader

Jimmy Pulliam

Opening Prayer

David Grogan

Lord's Table

* Phil Hamby

 

* David  White

 

Joe Minichowski

 

Steve Esler

Scripture Reading

Greg Cannon

 

Joshua 5:9-12

Closing Prayer

Larry Simmons

   

Welcome - PM

Jimmy Pulliam

Song Leader

Jimmy Pulliam

Opening Prayer

Jim Warren

Scripture Reading

Ed Kelly 

 

Psalm 73:12-14

Closing Prayer

David  White

Communion Preparation

Sheila Mixon

Nursery Attendant

 
 

 

 

 

Cedar Grove Church of Christ

Serving in Our Assemblies

     

Morning

April 2

April 9

April 16

April 23

April 30

Call to Worship

Jimmy Pulliam

Doyle White

David White

Greg Cannon

Jimmy Pulliam

Singing

Jimmy Pulliam

Doyle White

David White

Greg Cannon

Jimmy Pulliam

Opening Prayer

David Grogan

Joe Maddox

Greg Granberry

Joe Minichowski

David White

Table – Lead

Phil Hamby

Joe Minichowski

Phil Hamby

Joe Maddox

Greg Granberry

 

David White

Greg Cannon

Jim May

Jim May

Greg Cannon

Table – Serve

Steve Esler

Jim May

Chris Greenwald

Chris Greenwald

David Grogan

 

Joe Minichowski

Steve Esler

Bill Baker

David Grogan

Bill Baker

Scripture

Greg Cannon

Greg Granberry

Larry Simmons

Greg Granberry

Jim Warren

Closing Prayer

Larry Simmons

Ed Kelly

Eddie Brown

Eddie Brown

Ed Kelly

           

 

Evening

April 2

April 9

April 16

April 23

April 30

Call to Worship

Jimmy Pulliam

Doyle White

David White

Greg Cannon

Jimmy Pulliam

Singing

Jimmy Pulliam

Doyle White

David White

Greg Cannon

Jimmy Pulliam

Opening Prayer

Jim Warren

Phil Hamby

Jim Warren

Larry Simmons

Phil Hamby

Scripture

Ed Kelly

David White

Doyle White

Jimmy Pulliam

Doyle White

Closing Prayer

David White

David Grogan

Ed Kelly

Doyle White

Eddie Brown

           

 

 

               
 

RECORD 3/26/2017

Bible School

40

Worship AM

60

Worship PM

42

Wednesday Bible Study

25

Contribution

$ 7,500.00